Navigating Secondary School Choices in a Grammar School Area: A Parent’s Guide

For parents in areas like Kent, Buckinghamshire, or Lincolnshire—where grammar schools play a central role in the education system—the process of choosing a secondary school comes with particular (and additional) pressures. The presence of academically selective schools can make the experience feel high-stakes, leading to difficult decisions and, in some cases, unnecessary anxiety. It also skews the education in the area as a whole - selective schools drawing in the more 'academically able' pupils, leaving the local 'comprehensives' not very 'comprehensive' at all! As parents, this means there is a lot to consider.

In this guide, I’ll outline key considerations for parents navigating this system, helping you make informed and balanced decisions that support your child’s wellbeing and long-term success.

1. Understanding the System

Before making any decisions, it’s essential to understand how the grammar school system works in your area.

It is also worth noting that, the general, state education picture is not designed for grammar schools - there are only around 168 grammar school in the whole country!

The 11+ Exam: Most grammar schools use an entrance exam (commonly called the 11+) to determine admission. This usually includes English, Maths, Verbal Reasoning, and Non-Verbal Reasoning tests. Some areas use a standardised county-wide test, while others have school-specific exams.
Pass Marks & Cut-Offs: Not all children who ‘pass’ the 11+ secure a place at a grammar school. Many grammar schools are oversubscribed, meaning only the highest-scoring children are admitted.
Alternative Options: It’s easy to become fixated on grammar schools, but non-selective (‘high schools’ or comprehensives) also offer strong academic and pastoral support.

2. Deciding Whether to Enter Your Child for the 11+

This is often the first major dilemma for parents. Should you put your child in for the test?

Ask yourself:

Does my child genuinely enjoy and cope well with academic challenges?
How do they respond to test situations—do they thrive or struggle under pressure?
Would a highly competitive academic environment suit them, or would they flourish in a more mixed-ability setting?

It’s worth noting that many children who could pass the 11+ might not enjoy the grammar school environment. Likewise, some who don’t pass may go on to achieve highly in a non-selective school.

3. The Pressures of a Grammar School Area

Living in an area with grammar schools can create an intense atmosphere—especially in school playgrounds and parent WhatsApp groups! Some common pressures include:

The 'Tutoring Culture': In many grammar school areas, it is common for children to receive tutoring to prepare for the 11+. This can lead to an arms race where parents feel compelled to pay for tutoring just to ‘level the playing field.’
The Stigma Around Non-Selective Schools: In some communities, there can be an unfair perception that high schools are ‘second best.’ However, many comprehensives provide excellent education and pastoral support, often outperforming grammar schools when it comes to progress measures. I have written more here about the pros and cons of selective schools. A further thing to consider... Is it really surprising that a school which only accepts students who have proven they can pass tests (and is likely from a family which can afford numerous private tutors), does well in standardised tests? If you are making academic comparisons between selective schools and non-selective schools - keep this in mind.

4. Preparing for the 11+ (If You Decide to Do It)

If you decide to enter your child for the 11+, preparation is important, but it doesn’t need to take over family life.

Start With Familiarisation: Get past papers or practice questions so your child understands the test format.
Keep It Low-Key: Avoid making the test feel like an all-or-nothing moment. Instead, frame it as an opportunity rather than a judgement of ability. This is important if you want to develop a 'growth mindset' - you can read more about this here.
Consider DIY Preparation Before Tutoring: Many children succeed without formal tutoring, particularly if they are naturally strong academically. If you do choose tutoring, look for options that focus on confidence and skills rather than ‘cramming.’ Tutoring is an unregulated minefield! I have written a short guide of how to navigate it here.
Have a Plan B: It’s vital to talk about all secondary school options positively. Make sure your child knows that success in life is not determined by passing the 11+.

5. Choosing a Secondary School (Whatever the Outcome)

When the results come in, some children will get into grammar school, and some won’t. Whichever category your child falls into, focus on choosing the right school rather than the one with the most prestige.

Visit All Your Options: Look beyond league tables. Visit both grammar and non-selective schools to see where your child feels comfortable.
Think About Your Child’s Needs: Academics are important, but so is a school’s approach to wellbeing, extracurricular activities, and pastoral support.
Ignore the Playground Gossip: Schools change. What other parents say about a school may be outdated or based on personal biases.

In my Navigating Secondary School Applications Course, I go into much more detail about how to explore all of the options, use data critically and explore your own educational value. If you want to join hundreds of other parents who have taken this course, you can find out more here.

6. What If Your Child Doesn’t Pass the 11+?

If your child doesn’t get into grammar school, it’s natural to feel disappointed—especially if they worked hard for the test. However, this is not a sign that they won’t do well in education or life.

Reframe the Narrative: Many successful people didn’t pass the 11+ (or didn’t take it at all!). Focus on your child’s strengths and interests.
Look at Progress Measures: Grammar schools tend to admit high-attaining students, but this doesn’t always mean they add more value than non-selective schools. Check how different schools perform in terms of progress.
Consider Appeals or Late Testing: Some areas allow re-sits at a later stage (e.g., 12+ or 13+ entry). Appeals are also an option but require strong evidence.

Final Thoughts: A Balanced Approach

Living in a grammar school area brings unique challenges, but it’s important to remember that the best school for your child is the one where they will be happy and thrive.

Grammar school might not be the right option for you, and that’s okay.
The quality of teaching and leadership in a school often matters more than whether it is selective.
Academic success is not just about the school—it’s about the support and mindset developed at home, too.

Whether your child goes to a grammar school or not, what truly matters is that they feel confident, supported, and excited about their learning journey.

If you want to learn more about Navigating the Secondary School Application Process, I have a full, in-depth, online course to help you feel confident and in control.

We look at how the application process works, the pros and cons of different school types, how to use Ofsted reports and league table data and how to find 'hidden' information about schools - such as how much they spend on supply teachers!

I also talk through the five key debates in education and how to use this framework to make the most of school visits and make decisions based on your educational values.

Join here!